The reality is that we’ve all experienced some kind of trauma as children. This can range from having your favourite toy taken away to being physically or emotionally abused by your parents.
As humans, we need to feel understood, loved, accepted, nurtured, and safe.
Childhood trauma and wounding can affect us as adults today and if unprocessed we can act out from this wounded inner child.
When we reconnect with this part of ourselves (inner child), we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities, sabotaging and repetitive patterns. This is where true healing and liberation happens!
Inner child work is a HUGE part of our spiritual awakening and journey, it liberates us and allows to to truly find ourselves and become whole again.
You will be surprised by what you discover through the process of inner child work. Instead of simply looking at a symptom of your pain, you’ll go right to the core to reveal when a fear, phobia, or certain life pattern first began.
Maybe you find yourself feeling angry, stressed, reactive, unhappy, alone, or maybe in this hamster wheel of repetitive patterns….many times this can be inner child wounding that has not been dealt with.
Since childhood trauma can vary from person to person I wanted to name some of the ones I see frequently through my Akashic Record Readings.
Parents/family member/caretaker hitting or physically scolding
Emotionally unavailable parent (didn’t show love, weren’t physically present or didn’t show affection)
Physical and sexual abuse
Parents/caretakers divorcing
Parents/caretakers arguing with each other (physical and verbal)
Being given too many responsibilities (such as caring for your parents or siblings)
Not being fed
Not having a safe place to live
Abandonment (you are alone a lot or mom/dad being away at work for too many hours)
Emotional abandonment (lack of support and nurturing, or even attention)
Bullying (name calling, insulting or abuse)
Humiliation or being made to feel less than
There are many more examples of childhood trauma, but I just wanted to provide you with a few to give you an idea of what inner child work deals with.
It’s also important to remember that our parents weren’t the only ones responsible for provoking childhood trauma. This can also come from our grandparents, brothers, sisters, extended family members, caretakers, family friends, and childhood friends may have also played a part this childhood trauma and wounding.
WHY WORK WITH YOUR INNER CHILD
We all have dealt with something in our childhood, it doesn’t matter how big or small. These wounds and trauma many times are connected to out inner child.
These wounds bring in so much stagnation, tension and blockages in our life….hearts, mind and physical bodies.
These childhood issues essentially feed our Ego and can many times be the source of our present issues, stagnation and hurt.
When our inner child is stuck in this loop of pain, it feeds our Ego. And this is why inner child work is a BIG part of our spiritual journey. Through healing our inner child we are able to be free, expand, evolve, awaken, shift and transform.
WHAT IS INNER CHILD WORK
The concept of the inner child was made know by the Carl Jung who viewed a person’s inner child as the innocent, sensitive, and full-of-wonder part of someone. Inner child work focuses on healing childhood traumas in adulthood by reconnecting to blocked or forgotten parts of our younger self to identify wounds.
We all have been through a lot, many things we may not even remember. We all have some wounding inside that makes us feel like we can’t be safe, loved, seen, worthy. We carry this into our adult life and can affect us in many ways.
From the moment we are born until about 7 years old is when most of these subconscious beliefs are imprinted. During this crucial stage of development we absorb everything in our environment, we collect data and this is where we can bring with us certain beliefs and wounding.
When we talk about a wounded inner child, generally this would be wounding found during the imprinting period, this is an important time where we depend completely on our parents/caretakers. If we aren’t nurtured, seen, loved, taken care of we can bring in coping mechanisms or defence mechanisms to survive and to have our needs be met. If our parents can’t give us what we need we need to find a way to cope with this.
Those with a wounded inner child often time have a hard time managing their emotions and dealing with certain things life throws at them. They will use the same defence and coping mechanisms to get by in life. This can look different to everyone, we need to tune into our own emotions to be able to find where we need to heal.
Inner child work is the process or practice of connecting with and healing the inner child. That inner child is that innocent, joyful, playful and sensitive side of ourselves and came into this world completely free.
The sad part is we live in a society and culture where many of us are told to repress our feelings and deal with this. We can be these fully grown up versions of ourselves but at an emotional level we are still that wounded inner child and we act out on this. This many times can come through as fear, rage, unhappiness, uneasiness, low self worth, etc. We act out from these unconscious wounds and we are unable to really take control of our lives and be free.
By connecting with our inner child, acknowledging them, seeing them, loving them, making them feel safe, we are able to ease the pain and work through the subconscious behaviour and wounding. There are parts that are unresolved and need our attention and this work can help find some incredible answers.
If we all just healed our inner child, we would be so free, connected and expanded, it would be such a different society and way of living.
SOME WAYS TO WORK WITH YOUR INNER CHILD
This work is all about connecting to that innocent, pure, and joyful part of ourselves. It’s about experiencing the energy, innocence, openness and awe we felt when we came into this incarnation. This means removing the guilt, shame, fear, hate, self-hate and anger that we are carrying with us currently. In order to do this we need to bring our attention to our inner child and heal this from the inside out.
1. Acknowledge and speak to your inner child
Acknowledge your inner child and let them know that you’re there for them, that you have their back. Treat them with kindness, love and respect.
You can sit in meditation, maybe you even start with a little breathwork and you are going to envision your inner child in front of you and connecting with their energy. Maybe there is a specific age, outfit, hairstyle, place you connect with…allow it to flow. Look your inner child in the eyes and tell them how much you love them and that they are seen.
Here are some beautiful and nurturing things you can say to your inner child:
I love you.
I’m here for you.
You are seen
I love you and accept you.
We need to get into the habit of acknowledging our inner child so they feel seen and loved. You can also connect with your inner child and write them a letter or even journal about your experience with connecting with them.
2. Mirror work
This is a simple but powerful way to reconnect with your inner child. This is a great healing practice to try alongside the previous point as it allows you to acknowledge and open your heart up to your inner child.
You can either sit or stand in front of a mirror (if you like you can do a little breathwork before you start) and you are going to start by looking yourself in the eyes. Looking at yourself with compassion, love, and understanding. You can do this for a few minutes. It’s ok if you get emotional.
When I used to do this practice I would always get super emotional, things from my childhood would come up and I would clearly feel the wounding. We don’t want to judge the emotions or thoughts that come to the surface. Have compassion for yourself and that inner child that is hurting. Acknowledge them and allow them in and breathe through them. Depending on what we have been through and how open we are to healing, this can be a super releasing practice if we are open and accepting.
As you are looking into your own eyes through the mirror we want to connect with our inner child. Feel their presence and envision you are looking into their eyes. You will hold this gaze and vision for a couple of minutes and sense what your inner child needs from you. Is it to say “I love you,” or do they need a hug? Maybe they just need you to tell them you are there for them. Connect with your inner child and sense what they need. The emotions that come up are huge windows to help us know what’s going on and what we need to work on.
Once you finish this practice you can sit with yourself in meditation and connect with yourself, journal what came up and take some time to take care of yourself.
3. Work with a picture of yourself when you were a child
This practice was something I found so helpful! I sifted through some old pictures of myself and chose a couple that resonated with me and kept them for this specific practice.
This practice can be about you sitting with the picture and looking at the younger version of you and journaling what comes up, or you can do something similar to mirror work. Look at your younger self in the picture and connect with their energy and give them what they need. Words, affection, encouragement, etc.
You can also try putting up some pictures of yourself as a child around the house or on your computer so that you acknowledge their presence on a daily basis. This keeps you more present with that side of yourself.
4. Have fun
I believe we all need to connect with our inner child and have fun! This is something that can help us and them feel safe and free, as well as more open to facing those fears.
Think back to when you were a child and those things that made you feel joy and excitement. Maybe this was painting, riding your bike, running outside, drawing….whatever this was, you need to make time to recreate this and spend some time with your inner child. Let’s say it’s painting, then you will create an environment and get all your materials and sit by yourself (and your inner child of course) and just have fun. Don’t overthink anything, just draw and be free. Use colors you love and shapes you love. It’s about letting go and feeling it.
We spend so much time as adults being responsible and we have obligations and things to do that we forget we are also here to have fun and focus on simple things that bring us joy. This practice will help us connect with a part of ourselves that many times is forgotten or unacknowledged.
5. Meditation/Visualisation
Some of the work I do within my Akashic Record readings is to help my clients go deep to connect with their inner child. To see them, feel their presence and to speak to them. Meditation and visualisation work can be SUPER powerful and healing.
In order to help at a larger scale I created a meditation/visualisation on YouTube to help you do this in a guided way. If you like you can start by doing your own short breathwork and meditation practice to get yourself into a completely relaxed state, otherwise just tune into the video.
Make sure you are in a quiet, safe and relaxed place and that you are comfortable so you can open up your energy and really feel all the words and music. We have to remember that if we don’t feel safe and we are uneasy, this won’t help our inner child during this practice. The video helps guide you into a relaxed state so that you can connect with your inner child and start the healing practice. This first video in my series will be about “safety and comfort”. I will be adding versions in Spanish and extended versions so you can work through different aspects of healing with your inner child.
I hope this blog/article sheds some much needed light on inner child work and helped you see some ways you can start connecting with them and healing yourself.
Inner child work can help us heal and resolve all kinds of trauma that we may not even know exists right now. These could be things we have been holding in and repressing for years and years….this work will help liberate you so you feel lighter. It helps you find yourself, love yourself and accept yourself fully.
Sending you all love, light and healing!
xx
Lorena
